Are You Living Someone Else's Career?
Jan 10, 2023
Have you spent your life trying to mold yourself into the person you think you “should” be at work or in your business?
Do you often feel like a fraud or an imposter because you’re constantly trying to be “good enough”, please people, and figure out the “right & expected” way to do things?
Have you sacrificed your core values in order serve your fears or make “enough” money to feel safe?
Do you secretly long to just be yourself & do things your way– but don’t feel like you can because something about who you are or how your work is “wrong” or “flawed”? Is this preventing you from truly building a career or business you love?
Are you are so very tired of pretending to be happy when you’re really, really not – and so deeply exhausted by constantly trying to be someone other than who you are?
The reality is that we are all born into this world with a unique set of talents, gifts, and genius.
But then along the way stuff happens. Our families happen. School happens. Culture & societal expectations happen. Relationships happen. Life happens.
And any number of experiences can start to shape our relationships with ourselves – and who we think we “should” be – versus who we really are.
Maybe your parents went through hard times when they were younger, and constantly send you the message that you need to have a job that's on their shortlist of being stable, safe, and secure, and this unknowingly guides you away from the work that really lights you up...
Maybe you’ve had difficult relationships that eroded your sense of self-worth, and this subconsciously causes you to stay in toxic workplaces – or put up with toxic clients…
Maybe you have a personality style that didn’t fit the norm in school or society, which left you somehow feeling like the way you naturally work best is inherently “wrong”…
You may not even realize how these life events have impacted you – and shaped who you show up as and how you work in your career or business today.
And you likely have no clue that what triggers you and keeps you stuck or blocked from really doing what you love – might stem all the way back to thoughts, beliefs & events from your younger life – and from programming – “rules” and expectations that were placed on you – but don’t really reflect who you are.
I see so many passionate professionals start their careers & businesses with passion & purpose, but then go off track as all their muck & guck – all this “programming” starts to get in the way… and then all of a sudden you find yourself stuck on a career path you hate, but feels safe & secure.
You might find that the safe, stable career path that pleases your parents leaves you feeling anxious, frustrated and dejected... but you don't know why or what to do instead...
Or you can’t leave a toxic workplace because it’s your job to “fix” the problem…
Or find that business that you started with such passion & purpose now looks just like that old career that sucked the life out of you…
And this will keep happening until you truly embrace who you are. Until you clear out all those old patterns, fears & triggers that keep you stuck. Until you separate who you are from what other people want for you.
So What Do You Do?
If this post resonates with you, it’s highly possible that you NEED to connect to your purpose and do work that feels deeply meaningful, or you suffer.
You’re also likely to have a passionate and intuitive personality style – which means for you, having a career everyone thinks you should have is not enough. And working the same way as everyone else simply doesn’t work.
Why? Because more than money or material success, you need to love what you do, follow your passion & purpose, and do things your own way. A way that feels right, authentic & energizing for who you are.
So if you’re feeling stuck, frustrated and tired in your work and don’t know why, I can help.
As both a Senior Professional Career Coach and Certified Sparektype Advisor, I help passionate professionals clear out all that career muck and guck and connect who they are to work they love.
You can get started by signing up for a free Career Search Analysis RIGHT HERE. It's a great first step to start to decode your career discontent and put a plan together to identify the type of work that really makes you feel alive, and move toward that work in the real world.
Another great first step is to take the Sparketype Assessment.
Sparketype is a personality psychology modality that helps you to identify your unique impulse for the type of work that makes you feel the most alive, and the type of work that drains you. Once you know your Sparketype, it becomes an amazing decision making tool to help you really analyze everything about your current work or new positions and identify exactly what really energizes you and what doesn’t.
When you take the Sparketype Assessment, you get three results: Your Primary, Shadow and Anti-Sparketype:
- Your Primary Sparketype represents the impulse for the work that makes you feel most alive.
- Your Shadow Sparketype represents your second strongest impulse for work that makes you feel alive, but is often used in support of your Primary Sparketype
- Your Anti-Sparketype represents the type of work that drains you the most, is a harder lift. This is work where you may have developed a strong skill set, but while you may be good at it, it still drains you.
You can take the Sparketype assessment for free RIGHT HERE.
When you take the assessment, you'll receive an email with your results and some additional reading. Take some time to read through your results and make sure they resonate with you.
Think about your current work and reflect back on your career and see where you felt sparked and energized because you were using your Primary and Shadow Sparketypes, or drained and depleted because you were in your Anti-Sparketype too much.
You can also sign up for a Sparketype review session with me to review your results in more detail RIGHT HERE.
About the Author: Nicole Croizier is a Certified Sparketype Advisor, Senior Professional Career Coach, Master Certified Soul's Calling Coach & Facilitator, and on the leadership team for the International Association of Career Coaches. She combines her 20 years of experience in marketing, recruiting, career development, and resume writing to help passionate professionals decode their career discontent, reignite their career spark, identify their ideal job, and transition to meaningful work they love.
She's helped hundreds of passionate professionals, coaches, consultants and solopreneurs spark their work through her own programs and as a coach instructor for Martha Beck's Wayfinder Coach Training and The Soul's Calling Academy. If you’re looking for a career transition magician, then book a career strategy call with Nicole now or explore her programs below:
If this is you, and you want to dive deeper into your unique personality style and genius – start here:
- Don’t know your personality style? Take the test RIGHT HERE
- Do you already know your personality style? Get your Personality Starter Kit RIGHT HERE
- Are you an INFJ/ENFJ/INFP/ENFP? Do you want to learn how to embrace & develop your intuition? Take the Intuitive Awakening Course RIGHT HERE